Snippets from a road trip through B.C. Canada with The Sociopath and L/U (Lazy-slash-Useless) - Endearing familial pet names we had designated to each other after only a few days of being in each other's company.
Canada Day 143 Years young - 2010.
1.10pm, 19º, 20 kms away from Spencer's Bridge (where the Cherry stop is).
TS is BURSTING for a piss… "of course it's illegal to piss outside here" - Canada.
L/U smirks in schadenfreude at his discomfort - it's the small pleasures in life.
We're being followed by a band of Bikies, they pass us as we pull off to piss - due to older age, TS can't hold it in any longer.
L/U thinks "I'll wait for the cherry stop, for a toilet with paper". Wishes in times like this she had a penis to piss standing up. Looks at the amount of distance on the map to go - *groans*
TS feels better - bladder emptied. Informs L/U any toilet at Spencer Bridge will smell. L/U decides she prefers the shitty smell over having to squat au naturale in front of a parent.
1.36pm, 21º (apparently at this time of year it should be in the 30's), we cross Spencer's Bridge – and are now on the Cariboo Gold Rush Trail – back to where we were supposed to be hours ago (a horrific car accident killing many people, including a family, on the public holiday meant a 4 hour detour). L/U is wondering if TS is thinking "Those pesky fucking dead people". With his capability to feel empathy, decides he probably is.
We're going to TS's "FAVOURITE FRUIT SHOP IN THE WORLD" - Hilltop Gardens at Spencer's Bridge. "Cherries are going to be expensive this year" TS educates L/U in his slightly condescending yet still perverse patriarchal manner. L/U decides the characterisation of "obtuse" from one of his friends was quite an apt description.
L/U dryly assumes: it must be because of the unseasonably cold weather.
They are expensive.
OUTHOUSE TOILET EXPERIENCE
I would like to report on my outhouse experience - everything went better than expected. Smell: Minimal. Toilet Paper: Check. Looked Clean: No piss on the seat.
Downside: No tap either. I wondered about the fecal matter flying around, and used my water bottle to wash my hands with after. Hah! like that will help.
L/U arrives back from the outhouse experience to TS's running commentary:
"Pack of Thieving Cunts! I can buy cherries cheaper in a Supermarket"
L/U ponders - so much for his favourite fruit shop in the entire world theory (he had been talking about this place for nearly the whole of the 5 hour road trip thus far) - now they just another pack of 'Thieving Cunts' - typical.